quarta-feira, 29 de setembro de 2010

Mas porque não?

E chegar a casa cansada, dorida, moída. Chegar e não te ver a ti, não te sentir. Não é que precise de ti para sobreviver e encontrar alegrias. Contigo simplesmente conseguia ser feliz. És aquela peça que falta para que fique tudo perfeito.

No fundo, sei que a sorte que tenho. Tenho tudo quanto preciso e tenho-o com qualidade. Tenho família das boas, com direito a tudo. Tenho amigos quase irmãos, com os quais sei que posso contar. Tenho trabalho e não é pouco. Tenho actividades, que são muito mais que passatempos, e que me fazem sentir realizada. Tenho uma espiritualidade bem definida e orientada. Tenho projectos para o futuro e um passado que me permite ser uma pessoa construída em alicerces fortes, não "apesar" dos erros, mas porque os cometi. E visto que arrependimentos são erros com os quais não se aprende, não trago arrependimentos comigo. Queria sentir-me completamente realizada. Tenho tudo isto, mas não te tenho a ti.

Não quero sequer parecer ingrata. Agradeço e valorizo tudo, mas sem ti parece tudo a vida de outra pessoa, como se não estivesse a construir nada de preenchido. Não gosto de futilidade, nem de vazio, nem de silêncio. Tudo isto sem ti é como viver em vácuo. Queria ao abrir a porta de casa sentir que tudo estivesse no caminho certo. Sentir-me feliz!
Desejo que um dia os andaimes e as pedras que juntei se conjuguem para construir o que eu desejo: um futuro, o meu futuro, o meu futuro contigo.

Desejo abrir a porta da NOSSA casa, sentir o cheiro da NOSSA comida, olhar e ver o NOSSO pequeno mundo decorado à NOSSA maneira, sentar-me ao teu lado para descansar e sentir-me feliz no NÓS que já me fez tão feliz.

"Não se pode ter tudo", diz o povo. Mas porque não?

domingo, 12 de setembro de 2010

Lições de Vida

Thank you.
I'm honored to be with you for your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. Truth be told I never graduated from college and this the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the firts six months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? it started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed graduate student, and she decided to put me up to adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything should be all set for me to be adopted from birth by a lawyer and wis wife. Except when I popped outthey decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parent, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking "We have as unexpected baby boy. Do you want him?" They said "Of course!" My biological mother found out later that my mother never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relenteda few months later when my parents promised that i would go to college. This was the start in my life. And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no ideia what i wanted to do with my life and no ideia how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that everything would all work out OK. It was really scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made.The minute I drop out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked far more interesting. It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slep on the floor of in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the5 cents deposites to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town to Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Kirshna temple. I loved it!
And must of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example: Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus, every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take the calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beatifull, historical, artistically subtle in a way science can't capture. And I found it fascinating.
None of this had even the hope of any pratical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Machintosh computer, it all came back to me. ANd we designedit all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beatifull typography. If i had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would never had multiple typeface or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personnel computer would have them.
If I had never dropped out, I would never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful tipography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking foward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because beleiveing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart. Even when it leads you off the well worn path, and that will make all the difference.

My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 400 employees. We had just released our finest creaction, the Machintosh, a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired.
How you can get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Boards of Directors sided with him. And so at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. what had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few monts. I felt I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down, that I had dropped the baton as it was being passes to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologyze for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me: I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that on bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and felt in love with an amazing womanwho would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and it's now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, and I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together. I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the paciente needed it.
Sometimes life is gonna hits you in the head with a brick. Don't loose faith.
I'm convinced the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work a it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle!
As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking. Don't settle!

My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as it was your last, someday you'll be certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were you last day of my life, would I want to do what I'm about to do today? And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things all fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best wai I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to loose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas.I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is uncurable, and that I should expect to life no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affair in order, witch is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next ten years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up, so it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I leved with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a byopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and thankfully I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope is the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainly than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept: no one wants to die! Even people who wnat to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invenction of Life. It's Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.
Right now, the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true. your time ir limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don´t be trapped by dogma which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And, most important, have the coureage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand, not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 60's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, overflowing with neat tools, and great notions. Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run it course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970's, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchiking on if you are so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay hungry. Stay foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you very much.

Steve Jobs